The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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