call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
