You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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