woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
