He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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