Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
