I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
