Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wear drunk well.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
