My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She bit a glass in half.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
