I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize