I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
