Midget sex pt 2 tonight
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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