i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize
