You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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