Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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