I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
