So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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