Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
