just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
