now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
