i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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