I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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