k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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