I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
