Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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