She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
