You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
