He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize