i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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