I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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