It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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