Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
