I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
