Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we made out on top of his cat.
he thought i was a dude.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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