I hate all girls vehemently.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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