no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
