i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
