meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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