plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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