dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
