He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize