How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
