DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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