i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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