but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
