You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
