no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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