perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
