I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
