OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
