Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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