The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize