"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
