and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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