I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
