420 ftw
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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