I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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