I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
