the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
