I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
