Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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