i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
